Thursday, August 31, 2006

I bled a lot today.

I really like free stuff. If you know me at all, you know how much I like free sample day at the grocery store and those hats of money I take from street musicians. Today I gave blood, partly because I wanted to help my fellow homos(apiens), but mostly because it's Thursday. On Thursdays, Streetside Eatery donates soup to Canadian Blood Services for the donors. And this isn't some crappy Campbell's soup, either. Today was chicken dumpling, and holy it was good.

Last time it was pirogi and it nearly made me cry, it was so yummy. Sidenote - there are a lot of ways to spell pirogi.

The kids come with me when I give blood, and they like to chat with the workers. Usually that works well for me. I appear the selfless mother giving my very BLOOD to help others while being a wonderful example to my children. The cookie man said, "Thanks for bringing your mom in to give blood!" And Corina told him, "She only does it for the free food." And then she grabbed a handful of cookies. We're awesome.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Dreams and a creepy guy from tv.

Tomorrow I'm having the kids go to bed closer to a normal bedtime for the first time this summer so they can be ready for school next week, so tonight I let them stay up as late as they wanted. When I took Corina up to bed she was completely exhausted. I could see she'd be asleep within seconds, so I asked her to close her eyes while I counted to 60 and then I'd wake her up to sing to her. I wanted to watch her fall asleep. I loved watching my kids fall asleep when they were babies, but there's not much opportunity for that as they get older.

I was only at about 20 when it was clear she was asleep. A few seconds of stillness, and then she raised her eyebrows way up like she would if she were surprised, but the rest of her face stayed still. She put her eyebrows back down, then up again, and did that quite a few times. (You're making that face now, right?) She looked so funny.

When I woke her up at 60 she was a little cross-eyed for a second, and then said, "I was really asleep!" She was impressed. I told her she was funny in her sleep and asked if she had been dreaming. She told me she had, and that she dreamed she was watching Canadian Idol. (Yes, my American friends...we have our own version.) She dreamed she was at the actual hall where they record the show, watching them sing on the stage. We had watched the show tonight, and creepy Chad got kicked off thankfully. Look at this guy.


I couldn't stand watching him. He does the most horrible things with his face while he sings. Corina told me, "I was watching Chad sing, and he was doing that annoying thing where he keeps lifting up his eyebrows".

Ha! I love that. She acted out her dream. And she acted out someone else's actions from her dream, which is even cooler. The whole thing just made me happy. I laughed harder than I have this entire year. (But that's mostly because none of my friends are funny. Boring bunch of jerks...)

Stupid Jewel Quest

It's not my best friend anymore. I stopped keeping track of screens cleared and instead went with high score. My highest was 175,139 before today. That was a lot more than 22 screens, but I don't know how many.

And then today I was in hell. Something weird happened in my brain, and I couldn't not win. The game turned incredibly easy. I got up to 511,746 points and I wasn't even paying attention anymore. In fact, I was crying from the torture. I wanted to stop, but I also knew if I completely quit I'd wonder how high I could have gotten. And so I kept going. I hate that game now. HATE. I never want to see a stupid red skull again in my life, except every time I close my eyes that's all I see. I finally lost by blurring my eyes so I couldn't really see the screen. I suppose I could have completely thrown the game without the eye blurring trick, but I'm not normal. No news there.

Monday, August 28, 2006

We're rich, I tell you.

We went for a walk to the lake near our house the other day, and Corina noticed a penny on the ground. She picked it up of course. That's what kids do. A few steps ahead there was another penny, which was very exciting to Corina. She scooped up that one, and then a few more steps ahead we found another penny. That's when we realized someone had left a penny trail on the sidewalk. Corina and Max excitedly ran along scooping up all the pennies. (And one dime!) When they were done, they had $1.08. That's pretty awesome. The pennies were all placed nicely down the sidewalk for someone to find. Whoever did that totally knows how to make a little kid happy. Maybe they were watching out their window. I bet they felt really good when they saw how much the kids enjoyed it. I hope they felt so good that it inspires them to make a loonie trail. Or a trail of vodka and percocet. I'm keeping my eyes open.

Saturday, August 26, 2006


Max just walked in the kitchen and asked me, "Does everybody come with bangs?". I love the way kids think.

And then he reached out to grab the fridge door handle, but he missed and fell over sideways. He's definitely my son.

Friday, August 25, 2006

So maybe I'm glib.

I wish my name was Sugar Tits. I want that shirt! I peed when I heard that part of Mel's evening on the town. There's something beautiful about celebrities letting their crazy show. Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson make me so happy.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

I may be a few months late for this...

But why wasn't Nightcrawler in X-Men 3? He was only slightly awesome. If they were going forget to include a character, couldn't it have been Storm the yawn maker? And why did Halle Berry sometimes give Storm an accent, and sometimes not?

The reason I finally saw the X-Men movies was because of all the people telling me I look like Jean. I decided to see what they're talking about.

And I saw. Corina calls me Jean all the time now, and I don't mind a bit.

But yeah...that Nightcrawler thing. What's the deal?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

My very best friend.

My new computer actually lets me play games, and so I do. You should try this one, and so should you. Play it free online and tell me how well you do. My best so far is clearing 8 screens, but since I don't know anyone who plays it I have nothing to compare that too. Am I doing well? Tell me!

Monday, August 21, 2006

A Corina moment.

One of the best things about little kids is the way they talk to themselves while they're playing. Corina does it like crazy, and I think it's sad she'll outgrow that before too long. But then again it's probably good she'll outgrow it. You know what I mean.

Anyway, sometimes it's fun to listen to her when she doesn't know I'm there. She was quietly playing with some toys and whispering to herself yesterday, and then she suddenly sang out, "I like big butts and I cannot lie!"

I have no idea where she learned that, but I'm awfully proud of her.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Looky what I got!

A new computer! That's not it there, but it's close enough.

I've only ever had a computer that a friend had given to me because otherwise he was going to throw it out. That computer was so slow I would read a bit or fold laundry while I'd wait for a page to load. This one - things come up as soon as I click! I didn't even know that could happen. I'm in love.

Now I'm all set for school. New computer, new backpack, new pencil case. Let's hope my brain still knows how to learn stuff. Let's. All of us.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

How to make girls like you.

There's Benji, dancing champion. He was my favourite on So You Think You Can Dance right from the beginning, and he won tonight. Hoo. Rah. I didn't think he was the least bit attractive when I first saw him. I liked his dancing, and I thought it was nice that he talked so openly about being LDS and serving a mission. Now that we've watched him every week, he's gone from being sort of goofy looking to being handsome, and it's all in the personality. He's funny, and any girl will tell you that goes a long way. But he's also such a nice boy. He's
good. He's the kind of boy I should have married. And now I wish he was 32 rather than 22 so I him? Something, anyway. I may be becoming a dirty old woman.

Anyway, be funny and be a really good person. Quit treating people like crap and old ladies will want to date you too.

Jesus is cool too, I suppose.

My Corina sometimes has a hard time remembering which uncle is which. They're all on the other side of the country, so she mostly knows them from pictures. She gets mixed up on the names but she knows their faces. She asked me today which one is Uncle Brent, and I told her, "He's the one who looks like Jesus." (He really does.) She looked shocked, and then with wide eyes said, "He looks like ELVIS???"

I guess I didn't speak clearly. She wasn't nearly as impressed when she heard me correctly.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

I've been decorating.

Isn't it pretty? That now decorates my bedroom wall, and it's huge. Some guy who thinks he's smart (fine...he is) told me to buy that and said it would help me feel organized once I'm in school. It will show me my whole semester at a glance. I've already been standing in front of it, staring and feeling organized, and there's hardly a thing written on it yet. I've been worrying a lot about going to school and also still being a good mom. It seems like there will be way too much to do. Seeing it simplified into 4 easy months makes it seem like nothing. Nothing! I can totally do this.

Oh, and I read in the paper a couple of months ago that a guy with Downs Syndrome graduated from my program, so if he can do it...

Friday, August 11, 2006

I'm perfectly symmetrical.

Apparently I'm not symmetrical at all in real life, but in pictures I am thanks to this. I don't mind this first one so much. It's kind of spooky-cool, and my mouth looks like a heart.
And here I am all symmetrical again. Kind of like my Auntie Sue, a little like a pancake, and a lot like I'd have trouble detecting odors.
And that's what a symmetrical alien would look like. Knowledge is power.

Your turn.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

For your emotional well-being...

Do not watch Sophie's Choice when you have a nine year old son and a five year old daughter.

I hadn't seen this movie since the olden days when I was young and not a mommy. It's a very different experience watching it now, and especially so when my kids match up with hers. Following the scene where Sophie is forced to choose which of her children will be sent to the crematorium, I engaged in the self-torture most mothers probably do after this movie. I agonized over what I would do if that had been us and I cried my eyes out.

I would never have handed Corina over and shouted, "Take my daughter!". I would never have handed over my Max, either. I'm quite certain I would have fought until they killed me, or I would have chosen to have all three of us sent to the crematorium. They would have done that, wouldn't they? When the Nazi officer was forcing her to choose which child would live and which would die, wouldn't he have just as happily killed them all?

Some people might think that's an even more horrible option, but to me it's the most wonderful thing that could realistically happen in such a horrible place. I don't fear the three of us dying together at the same time, because we'll just continue along together after that. Being dead isn't so bad. We're not exactly *dead* when we're dead. We're just not here hanging out with the rest of you. My fear is one or two of us dying and leaving the others alone to miss them for decades. It's scary loving my kids as much as I do.

There's a little girl Max goes to school and church with. A few years ago her family was in a terrible car accident, and she lost both her parents and all her siblings. To me, the greatest tragedy is that she survived. Maybe I'm not looking at it right, but my perspective is it wouldn't even be all that sad if they had all died together. Sure the grandparents would miss them, but what a comfort knowing they're all together. If I were that little girl, I'd have a hard time feeling "blessed" that I lived.

Max fell out of a tree fort yesterday. He didn't die. But he could have!!!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Dr Kirby

I have a disgusting crush on this guy. He's an absolute jerk and is more in love with himself than I am with myself, but there's just something about him that makes me happy. He's so charming he makes girls forget he's also a complete dink. That's right...I said dink. Maybe I'll go to him for my tattoo removal and he'll fall in love with me.

I watch Big Brother. So sue me.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Eyem smrt.

English Genius.

You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 93% Expert!
You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

The Commonly Confused Words Test

Thursday, August 03, 2006


Here they Seawall Specials with red sparkle wheels. I've been out skating around and having a lovely time. Even though I'm very nice to my skates, they decided to beat the crap out of me. My feet are covered in blisters. Look!
No, those aren't really my feet. I don't have mud and duct tape all over mine (yet). Here's a real picture of my feet.
I kid. Those are my dinner.

There they are. And they hurt. All of them.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Did I tell you I had another baby?

This is what comes from fornication.
(Yes, I still love him.)

My Special Purpose.

I found it in my pants.

And I'm wondering how this works. Not my special purpose, but this blog deal. Tesssssssssssting.