I'm going to need one of those vests. Good news for all of you who have been annoyed by me asking you to repeat yourself. I haven't been ignoring you. I'm deaf! I finally got my hearing checked. Looks like my Eustachian tubes suck and I have a mild hearing impairment. That also explains why I bump into things and fall over all the time. It's just my ears, not the vodka. I can totally keep drinking.
They can probably fix my ears with some wacky combinations of this and that. I shall hear again!