Tuesday, June 26, 2007

A Scary Night. REALLY SCARY!

Remember my neighbor who wanted me to shove a box of groceries in my bottom? There was another incident today. She came out of her house just as I was walking by, so I said hi and waved like a normal person would. She gave me the finger like a crazy person would. It was kind of weird. She then got in her car and drove away. She has been really extra weird lately. She accused my friend of breaking into her house and tapping her phone, even.

A short while later, Max and I were walking through the parking lot to get Corina from her friend's house, and Crazy Lady came driving in. I saw her and pulled Max over a bit so we were walking along the fence line. She then swerved over until her tire was right ON the fence line and started driving right toward us. I yoinked Max back and into a tiny little recess in the fence that we were lucky enough to be walking past. She barely missed us. She came within an inch of running us over.

When she got out of her car, she just stared me down, and I said, "What are you doing??" I was so confused, I couldn't think of anything else to say. She then started screaming at me, and it was a rant full of the F word and based on this statement. "Well if you weren't so f'ing skinny, maybe people wouldn't try to run you over!" She yelled and yelled about me being so skinny. Apparently that is now reason enough to be murdered. I didn't say anything at all. I just stared at her with my mouth hanging open, feeling confused and looking skinny, and finally she stormed off.

I called the police, even though that was so tv show of me. Things are being dealt with. She was nice enough to leave really clear tire tracks that show exactly what happened, so I don't have to worry about her lying or anything. The officer was quite concerned with her behaviour when he finally got in her house after nearly beating her door down. Things are going to happen. I may be murdered. I'm a little scared.

21 comments:

Jonathan said...

Unbelievable. I would say "I wish such exciting things happened in my life", but that would be such a stupid thing to say I won't say it.

I've only ever had to call the police once in my life - I was cutting the grass one Sunday morning, and heard/felt a bullet go through the garden... and then another.

granolagirl said...

And I thought I had crazy neighbors!
I did. He was a paranoid schizo. He's gone now. I called the cops too.

Dainon said...

You best start eating. It just might buy you some time.

I want to laugh, but being run over is no laughing matter. Don't let your guard down, eh?

CWE said...

Holy crazy!! I'm glad you guys are okay. I'd be awfully sad if she ran over your skinny asses.

Laurie said...

The saddest part of that story for me was that Max witnessed it! It's awful enough that she threatened you like that. I can't believe the audacity of that woman. Violent!!

Jason Randall said...

I think it makes her angry that you're so thin. She longs to be you, to the point where she becomes you. But she has to wipe you out first, move into your home, and write witty blog entries.

Sorry. 'Single White Female' was on tv the other day.

Pablo said...

In her defense, you are very skinny.

CWE said...

Also, could you ask your friend to tap her phone for real? Then you could post clips of it here for us all to hear. I bet that'd make for some good crazy.

Shannon said...

I didn't know my mom moved into your neighbourhood. Please forgive her insanity.

bestsariah said...

I changed my mind. I'm totally going to press charges.

... said...

Oh, wow. I can barely believe that! Poor, skinny you. Poor, sweet Max. Glad Corina wasn't there.

We're glad the crazy lady has bad aim.

...And, as a sidenote, the new animated Sara on your blog page scares me a bit. Just thought I'd let you know.

bestsariah said...

She scares me too. She rocks back and forth like a crazy woman who lost her baby somewhere.

Jason Randall said...

Maybe a dingo ate her baby?

Dainon said...

She does certainly ... rock.

Bobbie said...

I do think you should press charges. That's the WORST excuse for wanting to kill someone I've ever heard. If your life weren't on the line and Max hadn't been involved I would have laughed when I heard it.

Jeff said...

Wow! And I thought having the crazy drunk chick try to break into my hotel room last night was strange. You win!

Krispy said...

*That's* why I'm not skinny.

Jason Randall said...

I'm not skinny because I like deep fried vegetables wrapped in candy corn, wrapped in bacon, wrapped in lard.

Wait, that's not true. I don't eat veggies.

Kipluck said...

Finally a POSITIVE to being fat... I haven't been the near victim of a hit and run lately. GEEZ, Best! BE CAREFUL!!!

Katz said...

This is Katz hubby. I read your blog and just had to comment. The story of the crazy lady trying to run you down for being skinny reminds me of my mom...she would do something like that and then tell the police that you jumped in front of her car, and she doesn't know why you would want to ruin her day by messing up her car...it would be all your fault you mean skinny girl :P Oh well...be careful.

bestsariah said...

Your mom sounds super!