Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween - in the bestest weather ever!

Corina chose to feel lots better today, and so she got to go back to school. Yay! She was a "Magic Princess", as she called it. Cutie. She put this outfit together herself from her dress up clothes.

Max was a goth kid. He looks so obnoxious! I'm ever so grateful he is nothing like this in real life. Oh, and he told me a bunch of the girls at school kept telling him he looked hot today. Noooooooo!
We went trick or treating with Brenden and Wade, as usual. This year we added our new buddy Brandon, and Hirotomo - a Japanese exchange student with a broken leg. He's in Canada for a week and is going to school with the boys. This was his very first Halloween, and he got to do it in a wheelchair. Lucky! Corina changed into her warm unicorn costume, but it is so nice out here this year that she was actually hot. Weird.

Max and Brandon stayed out super late trick or treating after the others went home. Corina and I drove alongside them to make sure no bullies stole my candy. I mean their candy. I mean my candy. Who am I kidding?

Corina's candy mountain. There's no prettier sight.



Thursday, October 30, 2008

It's Fifth Disease!

The slapped-lookin' cheeks this morning were the best clue. The good news is that if she feels up to it, she can go back to school tomorrow for her Halloween party. She's not contagious anymore!

The bad news is she was contagious for a full week before she got the rash.
Sorry Lethbridge. We've contaminated you!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Corina's Sad Rash Day

When Corina got home from school yesterday, she started crying right away. She told me she felt sick at school, so she pretended she needed to pee so she could go cry privately in the washroom. How sad is that??

So anyway, because she didn't feel well I started to tickle her back. And she hated it, which is sure not her normal reaction. I looked at her back and saw it was covered in a rash. Within about half an hour, the rash was all up on her face.

Here's how she looks now. Her face is so covered in rash that there are almost no non-rashy parts. And look at her poor arms! She's like that from head to toe.
Yes, I took her to the doctor. No, she's not going to die.

Thank Donnie my friend Janelle is watching Corina for me. I hate that I can't do it myself, but I'm scared to take time off work in case I end up sick too. I need to hoard my days.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Joaquin Phoenix

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

"I want to take this opportunity… also to give you the exclusive and just talk a little bit about the fact that this will be my last performance as an actor… I'm not doing films anymore."

Friday, October 24, 2008

Sofa King!

Knock knock joke from Corina, for you. Happy weekend!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

New shirt. New special toy.

I bought Max a new shirt. It makes me laugh out loud every single time I read it. Sometimes I even cry.

Now this - Corina has a toy dog. She puts water somewhere in it (I haven't checked yet how it actually works) and then the dog licks her. The tongue is actually wet. It drips a tiny bit of water as it licks her. Watch this video.

I have a filthy mind. I'm so ashamed! But I will never play with her toy doggy. I promise.
But really...who makes a toy like that?

(For adults, I mean, and one that isn't a dog. Who makes it?)
I'm kidding!

I AM KIDDING!

I'm going to bed now. Alone. Good night.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Alice Cooper Golfing in Lethbridge

When Alice Cooper was here for the show in September, he went golfing. That's not really big news, because he does that in pretty much every town he hits. The big news is that a guy I know went golfing with him! He didn't offer to take me along (jerk!) but he did get an autographed scorecard for me.

And here is Nathan golfing with Alice.
Not that I could have gone even if I was invited. I don't have a clue about golfing at all. Alice would have been mad at me.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

You Funny Americans

I am very much not an American, but I want to know...is this true?

Barack Obama:
Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in International Relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

Joseph Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

John McCain:United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899 (HAHAHA!)

Sarah Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism

Friday, October 17, 2008

Donnie Wahlberg Interview about ME!

Last question, on behalf of all the girls I grew up with - will you marry me?
Um. What?

Oh come on, you guys probably still get that all the time. What do you say to that?
I don't know. I was having a conversation with a buddy not long ago, and he asked if I would marry or date a fan. I said of course. He said, really? You'd go out with some girl who stood outside for hours in the rain to meet you? And I was like, wouldn't you want a woman who'd wait outside in the rain to meet you? That's kind of hot.


Thursday, October 16, 2008

My Alter Ego

The staff picture version of bestsariah. Check out the costume! Proper collar blouse, sweater vest, fake smile...
Assembly line photos are not the best for me. I do look very grown up though. I'm proud of myself.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

No More Toilet Paper

Do you think it's gross to wear underwear all day, wash it, and then wear it again? I do. But I still do it.

Now how gross do you think this is?
Go pee (ladies) and then wipe with a cloth. Throw the cloth in the wash. Use it again.

Sounds sick, right?

But. But! Those cloths with a couple of drops of pee on them are way less...umm...contaminated than women's underwear at the end of the day. True story. And yet we manage to survive with our reused undies.

Another thing that sounds sick is putting those pee cloths in the wash with my regular laundry. GAH! Pee drops in my laundry? I might die! Oh, but wait. What about all the crotch germs already in the laundry from my undies? Ha. Right. No biggie.

Now looky what we do! You can do it too. Really. It sounds gross the first few dozen times you hear of the idea, but after a while it started making sense to me.

My pretty basket of baby facecloths on one side of the toilet, pretty can on the other side of the toilet for the used facecloths after we make a peepee.

I am saving approximately ONE BILLION DOLLARS a month using this technique, and at least as many trees. You're welcome, Earth.

If you guys want to steal my idea, you may. But if you start using cloths for your number twos, I'm gonna puke.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Sarah Silverman on Letterman

My goodness, I adore her. She's the one I'm going to marry at my big gay wedding.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

I am a ticket scalper.

Legally though, which is pretty cool.

When I bought those 5 Star packages for the New Kids on the Block show in Edmonton, I listed our regular tickets on Ticketmaster's scalping page. Today someone bought them off me! $300 for me. Hooray!

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

My Grandpa

Corina's school is doing a special Remembrance Day presentation. They asked the kids to send in pictures of relatives who were in the army and such, so I asked my Auntie Carol to send me some pictures of my Grandpa, William Rawson. She sent me pictures I've never seen before, and I'm so excited to have them! I love my Grandpa. Loooooove him. He was for sure the kindest man I've ever known. I was with him at the moment he died, which I've always half loved and half hated. I still have a hard time with that whole thing.

Anyway, here's my awesome Grandpa. The caption for this picture said "1942 Bill still has ring and watch - no need to pawn yet". Whaa?? My grandpa had to pawn his ring and watch? There's so much I don't know about him.
Grandpa on the left and Uncle Ab on the right.
Are these articles big enough to read? Very interesting and horrible. My poor Grandma thought he was dead! They talk about the cable he sent to her to tell her he was still alive. It's interesting that even the men in his unit thought they saw him die. To be fair, he was in a tank that blew up...
Grandpa, and my fat face. I had chubby cheeks until I was in my twenties. SO???!!
I've got that big strong jaw and mouth like him. I like that.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Booster Seats - Trying to kill your kids!

Fear fear fear!

Apparently booster seats for big kids have sucked for a while. The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety did a study in which they found "Most booster seats have evil spirits inside them, and want to murder children who are under 4'9" and weigh less than 80 lbs".

That may not have been an exact quote, but this is a blog. Why are you using it to get your news?

You can read about this on Safe Mama, but it's also all over the news. Real news.

Here are the only booster seats they called a "best bet":
Graco TurboBooster backless with clip
Fisher-Price Safe Voyage backless with clip
Combi Kobuk backless with clip
Fisher-Price Safe Voyage
Britax Parkway
LaRoche Bros. Teddy Bear
Safeguard Go backless with clip
Volvo booster cushion
Recaro Young Style
Britax Monarch

Of course there's no need to rush out and buy a new booster seat. Well...unless you love your kid, and then you'll run out this weekend and buy a new one like I did. We got a Graco TurboBooster backless with clip , and it was only $30. I figure Corina's worth it.
See? Her shirt is red because we bought it that way, instead of being soaked in blood from her old booster seat knifing her. Saaaaaaaaaaaafe.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

The benefits of BENEFITS!

I'm rich! I'm rich!
Of course I'm not, but I sort of feel rich today. I officially have benefits from work! My very own benefits that I have earned. And not just any benefits. Oh no. I have the Alberta School Employee Benefit Plan. That's the ASEBP, don't you know. It's the sweetest plan around.

Today the kids and I got $700 worth of dentist-type stuff done, and it was 100% covered. Free! It was free!

And guess what else. GUESS!

On Saturday, Corina and I are going for massages. For free! We each get $400 worth of massages a year. FOR FREE!!!

*faints*