Saturday, February 21, 2009

The New Kids Reunion

I made this post a little over a year ago. At the time, I was scared to even believe there would be a reunion. I didn't want to get my hopes up. I never get my hopes up. Ever. About anything.

People who know me really well understand (mostly) what the Donnie thing is about with me. It's too hard to explain, and so I'm just not going to.

The first time I heard the new song Close To You it was just the beginning lines. That's all they gave us, and it was when we were still trying to figure out if they were really getting back together. Hearing Donnie's voice and realizing they had recorded new material - well, I turned back into the mess of a 14/15/16 year old I used to be and I cried my eyes out. Then they announced a tour, and it was all pretty much overwhelming for me.

And now here we are, a year later.

I was just driving home from a great afternoon with a friend, and I was listening to Close To You. The whole song. I started thinking about that Me from a year ago, the Me who didn't know the rest of the song and had no idea what was in store for her.
My daydreams often involve time travel. (What...yours don't?) I imagined traveling back to last year and filling that Me in on everything that would happen.
I know I wouldn't have believed it. It's all really unbelievable.

I wish I could make a video, using that song and images of memories from all the wonderful things that have happened and then time travel back to show myself how much I had to look forward to.
Yes, I really daydream about time traveling with video montages.

Sometimes I get so happy that I need to share it with myself in other timelines.
Here's the song Close To You, with a perfect video.

I still can't watch videos like that without crying a little bit.
I don't believe in happy tears. I believe we cry in true sadness for all the times we've never been so happy. I can't appreciate my joy without having felt its opposite, and when my joy is so great, the sadness from other times feels that much darker. And so I cry. But I'm happy.
And that's what I've been thinking about today.

1 comment:

bequi said...

I love the memory montage and I love you and I love Donnie on your behalf!!